THE COUNTDOWN

TWO DAYS TO THE AGE OF OBAMIUS

Posted at 8:31 a.m. ET

Is it not written?  The bitter cold over the northeast this weekend clearly is Divine cleansing of the air in preparation for the coming of Obama in two days.  The nations of the world wait, ready to feed the hungry and cure all disease within a week.  Soccer teams in Europe, and football teams in America, are declaring an end to brutal competition, and announcing new rules making every team a winner.  Harmony and love are about to break out, and Chris Matthews will be there to cover it.

Just feel the wonderfulness, as the Age of Obamius comes even closer.

We can report the following developments:

- In a bid toward diversity, the United States Marine Corps Band announced that "Hail to the Chief'" will be renamed "Hail to the Main Man."

- Mr. Obama confirmed that he'll take the oath on Abraham Lincoln's Bible.  He wanted other symbols at the ceremony, but the Ark of the Covenant wasn't available.

- CIA Director-designate Leon Panetta was gently escorted from a Washington bar last night after demanding that his glass of milk be "shaken, not stirred."

- Hillary Clinton said in an interview that she agreed with every aspect of Obama's foreign policy, and would be a dedicated, loyal subordinate.  She was then rushed to Georgetown Hospital, suffering from uncontrolled fits of laughter.

- President-elect Obama reaffirmed his intention to negotiate even with bitter enemies, the people he expects will give him the most trouble.  He immediately entered into talks with Democratic leaders of Congress.

- In the Lincoln tradition, the theme of his inauguration, President-elect Obama put finishing touches on his inaugural address by the light of a candle.  But he complained that he ran out of cartridges for his quill.

January 18, 2009.